Week 9: Yum.......Roast.

[erik]

Well I'm really upset right now and so don't be mad if this confessional is affected by my mood right now .

First of all, we merged. I was SUPER happy because that gives us like 6 people against 5 on the other side plus we have Jason's extra vote thing. If we were ever going to have a chance to beat the other side, now was it. I was and am totally ready to kick some fan + Joey/Lorii butt!

Then the challenge is posted and it's a ROAST!! YES!! I absolutely love this challenge, I had a ton of fun making my roast and I can't wait to read everyone else's. They better be funny <3. I don't know if mine was good enough to win. I put a ton of work into it but there are some strong people here so it's not going to be easy. I would really like immunity this round because it's merge and I could see people voting for me. I'm a big threat and everyone knows it and no one trusts me. I'm sure most people have plans of screwing me over eventually and at this point I don't know if there's anyone I can really trust. I used to think I could trust Alex, and I still think I can, but he did something really stupid and I don't even know anymore. At least I have Britt....I don't think Britt would ever vote me out and that means a lot. I don't think I'd ever vote her either.

Anyway, roasts finish, I got drunk last night in Canada. I came home at like 3 AM to messages from Brittany about some shit going down. She made me come on Skype so I could hear about it and discuss with Jason and Alyssa. APPARENTLY, Alex went to Jason some time recently and told Jason that he wanted me out eventually, that he wanted to blindside me at F6 or F7. Jason told this to Britt and they all relayed it to me that night, throwing Alex under the bus. I was a little surprised that Alex didn't tell me about it, I totally thought he was just doing it to try and be sneaky and hide our alliance more. But I was wondering why he wouldn't tell me. I even thought maybe Jason and Alyssa were making it up. I NEVER thought he was actually considering it, and I actually thought it might be a good thing for Britt and I if Jason and Alyssa believed we were pissed at Alex.

So today, I come online for a bit, and Britt IMs me saying she tried feeling Alex out, and he said this:

Troyan X Warrior (2:36:28 PM): ugh, i have the feeling i fucked up
x hay gurl hayy (2:36:48 PM): why
Troyan X Warrior (2:37:18 PM): i said something to jason about erik and now erik isnt talking to me and if jason told erik and erik got mad about it im gonna be really upset
x hay gurl hayy (2:37:42 PM): oh
x hay gurl hayy (2:38:04 PM): well i didnt hear anything so i dunno if erik has
Troyan X Warrior (2:38:23 PM): okay then, i just ugh, he isnt usually cold like that
Troyan X Warrior (2:38:44 PM): and then he said "i talked to britti, jason and alyssa" in skype yesterday so i was like "um, why do you tell me that?"


So I instinctively thought Alex did actually tell Jason he wanted to blindside me, but I thought FOR SURE Alex wasn't serious. Then I was thinking like...why wouldn't Alex just tell me? I didn't get it. I kept talking to him and acting like nothing was wrong because nothing WAS wrong. I didn't want to tell Alex that Jason sold him out because Alex doesn't hide things well and I didn't think he'd be able to keep up the charade of wanting me out if he knew Jason was selling him out.

So anyway, I keep talking to Alex and he was like *freaking out*. He kept saying I was acting cold and was wondering if something was wrong. He kept saying he knew something was wrong, which duh of course he thought because he was saying mean things about me to Jason and was trying to figure out if I knew. But he wouldn't admit to it for some reason. I just kept giggling and waiting for him to finally tell me that he told Jason he wanted me out but it was just for strategy and of course he wasn't really going to blindside me. But then....he dropped a bomb on me...


Yoshirocks1820: NOTHING is wrong
Yoshirocks1820: is something wrong with you?
Yoshirocks1820: that you would be so paranoid about me
Troyan X Warrior: i said somethign about you and i feel horrible
Yoshirocks1820: what did you say?
Troyan X Warrior: cause i know you'll be upset and im certain you know already
Yoshirocks1820: omg
Yoshirocks1820: what did you say??
Troyan X Warrior: what did jason tell you last night erik?
Yoshirocks1820: he didn't tell me anything
Yoshirocks1820: what are you talking about
Yoshirocks1820: I just drunk talked to them
Troyan X Warrior: i told jason i wanted to vote you out at 6
Troyan X Warrior: and i feel so guilty
Troyan X Warrior: i feel like shit
Yoshirocks1820: huh
Troyan X Warrior: and i feel stupid for telling you
Yoshirocks1820: okay first of all why would you tell him that
Yoshirocks1820: second of all why would you feel guilty..?
Yoshirocks1820: and why would you feel stupid telling me that lol
Troyan X Warrior: i told him, in the begining to make sure he stuck with us but like the more i thought about it the more it made sense to actually vote you out, and i feel guilty because i like you so much
Troyan X Warrior: im sorry
Yoshirocks1820: wait
Yoshirocks1820: you were actually considering voting me out???
Troyan X Warrior: yes :-(
Yoshirocks1820: wtf
Yoshirocks1820: why would you do that?
Yoshirocks1820: how does that make sense..?
Troyan X Warrior: i cant win against you erik
Yoshirocks1820: ...
Yoshirocks1820: you're serious?
Troyan X Warrior: yes, im sorry
Yoshirocks1820: wow
Troyan X Warrior: now you are mad
Yoshirocks1820: Not really I'm just really surprised
Yoshirocks1820: like how is that even an option for you?
Troyan X Warrior: im so so so sorry
Troyan X Warrior: and i feel so bad
Yoshirocks1820: It never even crossed my mind to vote you out
Yoshirocks1820: wowza.
Troyan X Warrior: im so sorry erik
Troyan X Warrior: please dont hate me
Yoshirocks1820: i dont
Yoshirocks1820: im just trying to understand
Troyan X Warrior: i feel like such a stupid tard
Yoshirocks1820: how you could ever wanna do that?
Yoshirocks1820: like what was going through your mind...?
Troyan X Warrior: i just wanted to win
Troyan X Warrior: i know i cant win against you, i have no chance in hell
Troyan X Warrior: and i wanted everyone to realize im actually playing the game
Yoshirocks1820: i didnt think winning was that important to you



So wow. I was in *absolute* shock. If there's one person I thought I could trust and count on, it was Alex. Losing Joey and then Lorii was one thing, but for winning to be more important to Alex too just hurts a lot. I don't really know what to do about it but whatever....

Apparently Alex got in a fight with Jeffrey as well, which is great. Exactly what we need right now when it's 6-5 and we barely have the majority. Fantastic.

I really hope I won immunity. *Goes to look*.

[erik]

I lost immunity. ROBBED. And....Joey won? Really? That shit better be funny. He's lucky as hell, cause he woulda been gone this round. Hopefully this round works out though, and he goes next time. It's not like he can win an actual challenge right?

This round though, I have no confidence. It could definitely be me going. I got super bad vibes from a lot of people and I just don't like the situation I'm in. At all. I have Me and Britt basically by ourselves. I have Alex who I still really trust but he's been going around doing all this dumb stuff. Like trying to get the fans to vote him??? And having this really suspicious TC answer. Ugh. Then there's Jeffrey who I actually trust a lot now, but still. I just feel so alone right now and I don't like it.

None of the fans talk to me except Tucker. Lorii and Joey don't want to talk to me. I can't talk to them because idk, I just have a hard time faking it with people, and I just can't be friendly to them right now. I can't talk any strategy with them because we're on opposite sides in a touchy round and my better judgment says I must stick with Alyssa and Jason and trust that they will do what they are telling us. Will they? I want to say yes, but I don't know. Both were acting VERY quiet and suspicious so they could be doing anything really. Especially considering the fact that the fans weren't talking to me. If they thought they were in danger, they'd be talking to me.

Even if I'm not voted out this round, I don't like where the game is going. I don't have anyone to rely on anymore and my allies are few. Jason and Alyssa are very scary but they can basically do whatever they want because the fans are so against us and we hate them so much, and honestly I like Alyssa too much (and Jason). I wouldn't be able to backstab them unless they gave me a reason to. So I just have to trust them. But I KNOW they are going to try something eventually. Ugh.

I guess I'll just wait and see what happens this round. I'm happy with the way I've played this game and I have no regrets. I will give it my all and if I'm voted out soon, so be it. I'm a big target and I have to just accept that. To be honest, I could use a break from all the people jumping ship on me and whatever.

[erik]

Oh, and I'm going away camping all weekend with no internet, so I'm leaving a boot list in case I do survive .

From who I want out the most to who I want out least....

1. Joey
2. Evan
3. RB
4. Lorii
5. Tucker
6. Jason
7. Jeffrey
8. Alyssa
9. Alex
10. Brittany